111 Funny Women’s Day Quotes That Empower
You are likely here because you need funny Women’s Day quotes that do more than just get a quick laugh-you want words that feel like a wink, a hug, and a standing ovation all at once.
Maybe you are crafting an Instagram caption for March 8, writing a note to a sister who keeps you sane, or planning a workplace speech that needs to be light but deeply respectful. You want to celebrate the women in your life without sounding like a generic greeting card.
This guide helps you do exactly that.
Below, you will find 111 funny women’s day quotes, organized by real-life situations. We have included gentle guidance on when and where to use them-whether it’s for a best friend, a colleague, or your own social media feed.
If you have ever juggled a hundred invisible tasks, smiled through exhaustion, or been called “too much” for simply existing in your full power, this collection is meant to make you laugh and feel seen.
How To Use Women’s Day Humor With Heart
Before we get to the list, let’s set a quick ground rule. The best funny International Women’s Day quotes always punch up. They poke fun at unfair expectations, impossible standards, and the shared chaos of womanhood. They never punch down at women themselves.
Use these quotes to say: “I see how much you carry, I respect your strength, and I love that we can laugh about the madness of it all.”
Classic Wit: Quotes With A Wink Of Wisdom
These lines work perfectly when you want humor backed by names people recognize. They bridge the gap between observation and comedy, making them ideal for toasts or thoughtful texts.
1. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.” – Margaret Thatcher
(What this means: We all know who manages the logistics.)
2. “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” – Jim Carrey
3. “Men are from Earth, women are from Earth. Deal with it.” – George Carlin
4. “A woman is like a tea bag: you can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.” – Eleanor Roosevelt
5. “There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.” – Chris Rock
6. “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy, fat women.” – Nicole Hollander
7. “Women are wiser than men because they know less and understand more.” – James Thurber
8. “Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.” – Oscar Wilde
9. “I’d much rather be a woman than a man. Women can cry, they can wear cute clothes, and they’re the first to be rescued off sinking ships.” – Gilda Radner
10. “I do not wish women to have power over men; but over themselves.” – Mary Shelley
11. “If women didn’t exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.” – Aristotle Onassis
12. “Women speak two languages: one of these is verbal.” – William Shakespeare
13. “Being a woman is a terribly difficult task, since it consists principally in dealing with men.” – Joseph Conrad
14. “A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.” – Chauncey M. Depew
15. “Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.” – Timothy Leary
16. “The phrase ‘weaker sex’ was coined by some woman to disarm some man she was preparing to overwhelm.” – Ogden Nash
17. “Women are never disarmed by compliments. Men always are.” – Oscar Wilde
18. “Women are like telephones: they like to be held and talked to, but if you push the wrong button, you will be disconnected.” – Unknown
19. “Women will never be as successful as men because they have no wives to advise them.” – Dick Van Dyke
20. “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” – Charlotte Whitton
Sassy & Empowering Quotes For Pure Girl Power
Sometimes you need funny women’s day quotes that bring the swagger. These are for the women who own the room, the ones who are unapologetically themselves. If you have a friend who fits the “crazy girl” vibe in the best, most spirited way, you might also enjoy our collection of funny crazy girl quotes.
21. “I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay.” – Madonna
22. “A strong woman looks a challenge in the eye and gives it a wink.” – Gina Carey
23. “A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” – Coco Chanel
24. “Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world.” – Marilyn Monroe
25. “A wise girl knows her limits, a smart girl knows she has none.” – Marilyn Monroe
26. “Who run the world? Girls.” – Beyoncé
27. “I got my own back.” – Maya Angelou
28. “The most alluring thing a woman can have is confidence.” – Beyoncé
29. “I’m not bossy. I’m the boss.” – Beyoncé
30. “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
31. “There is no limit to what we, as women, can accomplish.” – Michelle Obama
32. “I am a woman. What’s your superpower?” – Unknown
33. “She believed she could, so she did.” – R.S. Grey
34. “Life is tough, my darling, but so are you.” – Stephanie Bennett-Henry
35. “Each time a woman stands up for herself, she stands up for all women.” – Maya Angelou
36. “I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” – Louisa May Alcott
37. “I’m not a one-in-a-million kind of girl. I’m a once-in-a-lifetime kind of woman.” – Unknown
38. “You can’t scare me, I have daughters.” – Unknown
(Perfect for moms surviving the teenage years.)
39. “She remembered who she was and the game changed.” – Lalah Delia
40. “She wasn’t looking for a knight. She was looking for a sword.” – Atticus
Office Humor: Quotes For Work & Getting Things Done
Finding appropriate humor for the workplace can be tricky. You want to acknowledge the hustle without crossing a line. These funny women’s day quotes focus on competence, multitasking, and the reality of being a working woman.
41. “Women belong in all places where decisions are being made.” – Ruth Bader Ginsburg
42. “When a man gives his opinion, he’s a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she’s a bitch.” – Bette Davis
43. “There is a special place in hell for women who don’t help other women.” – Madeleine Albright
44. “Feminism is the radical notion that women are people.” – Marie Shear
45. “Whoever said ‘girls just wanna have fun’ obviously never met a woman on a mission.” – Unknown
46. “Behind every successful woman is herself.” – Unknown
47. “Of course women can do anything. We’re just busy doing everything.” – Unknown
48. “Women are the real architects of society.” – Harriet Beecher Stowe
49. “Call me ‘bossy’ one more time and I’ll show you ‘CEO’.” – Unknown
50. “I’m not here to decorate your office. I’m here to run it.” – Unknown
51. “Glass ceilings are just skylights waiting to be shattered.” – Unknown
52. “Equal pay isn’t a privilege. It’s the punchline we’re still waiting to laugh at.” – Unknown
53. “Don’t tell me the sky’s the limit when there are footprints on the moon – some probably left by overworked women.” – Unknown
54. “Apparently, ‘like a girl’ now means ‘smarter, faster, stronger, and still answering emails’.” – Unknown
55. “I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time.” – Unknown
56. “I’m not overreacting. I’m over explaining what you should already understand.” – Unknown
57. “Women are the only people who can start a revolution and a load of laundry at the same time.” – Unknown
58. “On International Women’s Day, remember: behind every deadline met is a woman who skipped her lunch.” – Unknown
59. “Here’s to strong women: may we know them, may we be them, may we not have to remind HR about them.” – Unknown
60. “My keyboard is worn out from typing ‘per my last email’.” – Unknown
Friendship & Sisterhood: For Your Favorite Chaos Coordinator
These are the quotes for the group chat. They celebrate the women who know where the bodies are buried (metaphorically, we hope) and who have stood by you through every bad haircut. If you are celebrating a friend hitting a milestone, check out our funny woman turning 40 quotes for age-specific humor.
61. “Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down.” – Oprah Winfrey
62. “To the women who run the world and still can’t find their keys, you are my people.” – Unknown
63. “Happy Women’s Day to the woman who can turn ‘five more minutes’ into an hour and still be fashionably late.” – Unknown
64. “To the woman who says she’ll be ready in five minutes: thank you for teaching us patience.” – Unknown
65. “She’s a tornado with pretty eyes and a heartbeat.” – Unknown
66. “Good girls go to heaven, bad girls go everywhere.” – Mae West
67. “She’s the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.” – Mae West
68. “A girl should be two things: classy and fabulous.” – Coco Chanel
69. “She’s a mess of gorgeous chaos, and somehow it works.” – Unknown
70. “I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.” – Carrie Bradshaw
71. “Crying is for plain women. Pretty women go shopping.” – Blanche Devereaux
72. “I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat.” – Pam Beesly
73. “Always be yourself. Unless you can be Beyoncé. Then always be Beyoncé.” – Unknown
74. “Behind every woman is a best friend who knows exactly what happened and where the bodies are buried.” – Unknown
75. “Here’s to the nights we can’t remember with the women we’ll never forget.” – Unknown
76. “Sometimes you just need a good cry and a good friend with good snacks.” – Unknown
77. “Friends buy you food. Best friends eat your food. Strong women do both.” – Unknown
78. “A woman who laughs is a woman who has already won.” – Unknown
79. “To the women juggling friendships, families, and feelings: you’re the real acrobats.” – Unknown
80. “May your coffee be strong and your group chats be full of women who hype you up.” – Unknown
Relatable Reality: Self-Care & “I’m Doing My Best”
For the woman who is tired, over-caffeinated, and holding it all together with dry shampoo and prayer. These funny women’s day quotes validate the struggle.
81. “Don’t waste so much time thinking about how much you weigh. There is no more mind-numbing, boring, idiotic, self-destructive diversion from the fun of living.” – Meryl Streep
82. “I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields
83. “When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.” – Cathy Guisewite
84. “I drink to make other people more interesting.” – Ernest Hemingway
85. “Of course I’m high maintenance – I maintain everything around here.” – Unknown
86. “I’m not short. I’m concentrated awesome.” – Unknown
87. “‘I got it’ is a woman’s way of saying, ‘I’ll do it myself like I always do.’” – Unknown
88. “Sometimes I wrestle with my inner demons. Other times we just hug and eat snacks.” – Unknown
89. “I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore, and scroll at the same time.” – Unknown
90. “My hobbies include: starting a hundred tasks and finishing them all five minutes before the deadline.” – Unknown
91. “My eyeliner is as chaotic as my schedule, and both still show up.” – Unknown
92. “I whisper ‘what is happening’ to myself at least twenty times a day.” – Unknown
93. “If at first you don’t succeed, do it the way your mom told you to in the first place.” – Unknown
94. “The bags under my eyes are designer.” – Unknown
95. “Strong women don’t have ‘bad hair days.’ We have ‘hat days.’” – Unknown
96. “Today’s forecast: 99% chance of getting it done, 1% chance of doing it gracefully.” – Unknown
97. “Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advice.” – Unknown
98. “Self-care is not a luxury; it’s damage control.” – Unknown
99. “Sometimes the bravest thing a woman does is say ‘no’ and then turn off her phone.” – Unknown
100. “Behind every calm woman is a bathroom door she locked for five peaceful minutes.” – Unknown
Originals: Funny Women’s Day Quotes You Won’t See Everywhere
If you want something fresh that hasn’t been re-posted a million times, these originals are for you.
101. “Happy Women’s Day: here’s to the queens who fix crowns, sign checks, and lose hair ties daily.”
102. “On Women’s Day, remember: the world runs on coffee, Wi‑Fi, and women who quietly fix everyone’s mistakes.”
103. “Happy Women’s Day to the ladies who turn chaos into calendars and mayhem into meetings.”
104. “To the women doing their best on too little sleep and too much caffeine: this day is for you.”
105. “Happy Women’s Day! May your eyeliner be even and your workload be odd‑ly smaller today.”
106. “Here’s to the women who show up on time, get things done, and still apologize too much. Today, just show up and don’t apologize.”
107. “May your Wi‑Fi be strong, your to‑do list be short, and your Women’s Day chocolate be tax‑deductible as ‘emotional support’.”
108. “Happy Women’s Day to the real multitaskers: dreaming big while reheating the same cup of coffee three times.”
109. “To every woman who’s ever been told ‘you’re too much’ – happy Women’s Day. The world clearly wasn’t ready for the full show.”
110. “Today we celebrate women – tomorrow we’re back to explaining things we already explained.”
111. “Happy Women’s Day: proof that the world runs on invisible labor and visible lipstick.”
A Note for Partners & Husbands
If you are a partner looking to write something sweet (and funny) in a card, remember that humor shows you are paying attention. You aren’t just celebrating an abstract idea of “womanhood”-you are celebrating her.
If you need more inspiration for writing to your significant other, especially if you want to mix romance with a laugh, take a look at our guide on funny Valentine messages for your wife. The principles of mixing gratitude with a little teasing apply perfectly to Women’s Day too.
Simple Formula for a Note:
- Affirmation: “I see how hard you work.”
- The Funny Quote: Insert one of the relatable quotes from above (e.g., #85 or #100).
- The “Why”: “I love that you keep our world spinning.”
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is a good caption for International Women’s Day?
A: Short and punchy works best for Instagram. Try something like, “She believed she could, so she did (after coffee),” or “Strong women, strong coffee, strong opinions.” You can also use one of the “Sassy” quotes from the list above, like Beyoncé’s “Who run the world?”
Q: Is it okay to use funny quotes for Women’s Day at work?
A: Yes, but keep it professional. Avoid jokes about “nagging” or appearance. Stick to quotes about multitasking, competence, or the general busyness of life. Quotes #51 (glass ceilings) or #54 (like a girl) are safe, empowering bets for the office.
Q: How do I wish my best friend a happy Women’s Day funny?
A: Focus on your shared history and chaos. A text saying, “Happy Women’s Day to the only person who knows all my passwords and secrets” hits the right note. Or use quote #61 about the limo and the bus-it is the ultimate friendship test.
Q: Can I send these quotes to my mom?
A: Absolutely. Moms often appreciate the “relatable reality” quotes the most because they feel seen in their hard work. Quote #93 (“do it the way mom told you”) is a classic winner that gives her the credit she deserves.
Laugh, Honor, Repeat
Laughter can be a holy kind of gratitude. When we laugh about the struggles of womanhood-the impossible standards, the exhaustion, the joy-we are really saying, “I see you, I value you, and I am glad we are in this together.”
May the women in your life feel so celebrated today that the joke isn’t on them-it’s on every limitation they have ever outgrown. Happy International Women’s Day!