111 Funny Badass Quotes to Slay Your Day
Ever had one of those days where the world tests your patience, haters are lurking, and you just need a comeback that says, “I’m unbreakable-and hilarious”? We’ve all been there. Sometimes, standard motivation feels a bit too soft. You don’t need a gentle hug; you need armor made of wit and grit.
Funny badass quotes act like spiritual caffeine. They wake up your inner warrior, shut down the noise, and remind you that having a sense of humor is the ultimate weapon against stress. Whether you need a caption that stops the scroll or a mantra to get through a rough Monday, mixing laughter with toughness is good for the soul.
Here is a curated collection of 111 funny badass quotes ranging from savage roasts to faith-filled fire. These aren’t just words; they’re tools to help you stand tall, laugh often, and keep your spirit fierce.
Funny Savage Quotes for Shutting Down Haters
Sometimes the best response to negativity isn’t silence-it’s a sharp wit that leaves them stunned. These quotes are for when you need to protect your peace with a little spice.
Quick Roasts and One-Liners
- “I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.” – Russell Warren
- “I always laugh when people try to hurt my feelings. As if I have any left.”
- “Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.” – Steven Wright
- “I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.”
- “If you ran like your mouth, you’d be in good shape.”
- “Zombies eat brains. Don’t worry, you’re safe.”
- “I possess a very specific set of skills. Mostly involving sarcasm and caffeine.”
- “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”
- “Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.”
- “Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.”
- “I’m allergic to stupidity. I break out in sarcasm.”
- “Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness. I am kind to everyone, but when someone is unkind to me, weak is not what you are going to remember about me.” – Al Capone
- “Some people just need a high-five. In the face. With a chair.”
- “I don’t hold grudges. I remember facts.”
- “Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.”
Savage Instagram Captions
- “Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane.”
- “Sorry, I can’t do epic stuff with basic people.”
- “Throw shade, I’ll just shine brighter.”
- “Not everyone likes me, but not everyone matters.”
- “My circle is small because I’m into quality, not quantity.”
- “Too glam to give a damn.”
- “Proof that I can do selfies better than you do drama.”
- “Make them stop and stare.”
- “Savage, not average.”
- “I’m the view. You’re just looking.”
If you love this kind of unfiltered energy, check out our collection of inspirational Beth Dutton quotes for more ranch-style savagery.
Hilarious Badass Captions for Instagram Domination
Your social media feed is your digital living room. Decorate it with words that show you don’t take life-or yourself-too seriously, but you still mean business.
Sassy for Women and Everyone
- “Everyone said I could become anything. So, I became a badass!”
- “Behind every successful woman is a tribe of other successful women who have her back.”
- “I’m not bossy, I’m the boss.” – Beyoncé
- “Cinderella never asked for a prince. She asked for a night off and a dress.” – Kiera Cass
- “Well-behaved women seldom make history.” – Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
- “I’m not sugar and spice. I’m savory and sauce.”
- “The only drama I enjoy is in my lashes.”
- “Coffee in one hand, confidence in the other.”
- “Be a stiletto in a room full of flats.”
- “I know looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case.”
- “Act like a lady, think like a boss.”
- “My mascara is too expensive to cry over you.”
- “A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.” – Oprah Winfrey
- “Messy bun and getting things done.”
- “Born to stand out, not to fit in.”
Badass for Guys and Warriors
- “Be a warrior, not a worrier.”
- “You’re either on my side, by my side, or in my way. Choose wisely.”
- “A champion is someone who gets up when he can’t.” – Jack Dempsey
- “I don’t stop when I’m tired. I stop when I’m done.” – David Goggins
- “Sweat dries, blood clots, bones heal. Suck it up.”
- “Pain is just weakness leaving the body.”
- “I’m not here to take part. I’m here to take over.” – Conor McGregor
- “If you want to be a lion, you must train with lions.”
- “History is written by the victors.” – Winston Churchill
- “Stay hungry. Stay foolish.” – Steve Jobs
- “I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees.”
- “Excellence is not a skill. It is an attitude.” – Ralph Marston
- “Don’t tell people your plans. Show them your results.”
- “Lead, follow, or get out of the way.” – General George Patton
- “The wolf on the hill is not as hungry as the wolf climbing the hill.”
Looking for something to share with the man in your life? Try these funny quotes to make him smile for a mix of humor and heart.
Witty One-Liners from Movies, Books, and Celebs
Fiction and fame have given us some of the most iconic funny badass quotes in history. From silver screen heroes to literary legends, these lines pack a punch.
Fictional Badasses
- “Nobody calls me ‘blondie’ and keeps their kneecaps.” – Heroes of Olympus
- “All the ways you wish you could be, that’s me.” – Tyler Durden, Fight Club
- “You see, in this world, there’s two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig.” – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly
- “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.” – Gone with the Wind
- “Yippee-ki-yay, motherf***er.” – *Die Hard*
- “I’ll be back.” – The Terminator
- “I eat Green Berets for breakfast. And right now, I’m very hungry.” – Commando
- “Say ‘hello’ to my little friend!” – Scarface
- “Do or do not. There is no try.” – Yoda
- “I’m not bad. I’m just drawn that way.” – Jessica Rabbit
- “May the odds be ever in your favor.” – The Hunger Games
- “Why so serious?” – The Dark Knight
Celeb and Real-Life Savage
- “When I’m good, I’m very good. But when I’m bad, I’m better.” – Mae West
- “If you obey all the rules, you miss all the fun.” – Katharine Hepburn
- “I’ve been popular and unpopular, successful and unsuccessful, loved and loathed, and I know how meaningless it all is. Therefore I’m free to take whatever risks I want.” – Madonna
- “A girl should be two things: who and what she wants.” – Coco Chanel
- “The best revenge is massive success.” – Frank Sinatra
- “I don’t care what you think about me. I don’t think about you at all.” – Coco Chanel
- “Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together.” – Elizabeth Taylor
- “If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” – RuPaul
- “I refuse to lower my standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.”
- “The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand
- “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.” – Margaret Thatcher
- “Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.” – Napoleon Bonaparte
- “I am my own experiment. I am my own work of art.” – Madonna
For more cinematic wit, browse our list of 65 best funny movie quotes.
Badass Blessings – Funny Faith-Infused Quotes
At Quoteprayers.com, we know that true strength comes from above, but that doesn’t mean you can’t have a sharp tongue. These quotes blend spiritual confidence with a wink.
Bible-Inspired Wit
- “Slay like David vs. Goliath, pray like you’re unbreakable.”
- “God is my strength, but sarcasm is my shield.”
- “Jesus flipped tables. I can flip the script.”
- “My soul is saved, but my patience is tested.”
- “I’m a child of God, but I still have a warrior’s spirit.”
- “Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.”
- “Pray until the breakthrough comes, then slay the day.”
- “God gave me this mouth, He knew what He was doing.”
- “Faith it ‘til you make it.”
- “Blessed and highly annoyed.”
Uplifting Prayer Roasts
- “Forgive by forgetting-Jesus-style savage.”
- “I asked God for patience, and He gave me you. We’re working on it.”
- “Too blessed to be stressed.”
- “Let go and let God handle the haters.”
- “I don’t need luck, I have grace.”
- “Fear is a liar, and I don’t listen to liars.”
- “My glow is not from a highlighter; it’s from the Holy Spirit.”
- “Speak the truth, even if your voice shakes (or laughs).”
- “Devil whispered, ‘You can’t withstand the storm.’ The warrior replied, ‘I am the storm.’ (And God sent the rain).”
- “Keep your heels, head, and standards high-and your prayers higher.”
Motivational Funny Badass Quotes to Crush Goals
Finally, here is the fuel to get you moving. When you need to get off the couch and dominate your to-do list, these words will give you the push you need.
- “Rise and slay.”
- “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” – Joe Girard
- “Hustle until your haters ask if you’re hiring.”
- “Work hard in silence, let your success be the noise.”
- “Don’t watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.” – Sam Levenson
- “Opportunities don’t happen, you create them.” – Chris Grosser
- “Never approach a fool from any direction.”
- “If you stumble, make it part of the dance.”
- “Be the kind of person that when your feet hit the floor in the morning, the devil says, ‘Oh crap, they’re up!'”
- “Goal: To be wealthy, not look rich.”
- “You have to be odd to be number one.” – Dr. Seuss
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: What is the best badass quote for a caption?
A: It depends on your vibe, but short and punchy usually wins. “Savage, not average” or “Sunshine mixed with a little hurricane” are universally loved because they show confidence without trying too hard.
Q: Can funny badass quotes be appropriate for work?
A: Absolutely, if you choose wisely. Quotes like “Work hard in silence, let success be the noise” convey strength and professionalism. Avoid the sassier insults for office emails, but keep them handy for your personal motivation.
Q: How can I use these quotes to boost my confidence?
A: Repetition is key. Pick one or two funny badass quotes that resonate with you, write them on a sticky note, or set them as your phone background. Reading them daily reinforces that resilient mindset.
Q: Are there spiritual badass quotes?
A: Yes! Faith and toughness go hand in hand. Phrases like “Pray until you see a breakthrough, then slay” remind us that relying on God doesn’t mean being passive; it means fighting your battles with divine backup.
Own Your Inner Warrior
These 111 funny badass quotes are more than just witty remarks; they are a reminder that you are complex, capable, and allowed to be bold. Life requires a mix of soft faith and hard boundaries. Whether you are roasting a hater with elegance, captioning your latest victory, or just trying to get out of bed with a smile, let these words be your armor.
You are a funny badass by design-own it with humor, heart, and a little bit of fire. Now, go out there and show the world what you’re made of.
